34 Comments
Oct 28Liked by Rebecca Goodall

"I forgot to buy toilet paper three times this week. I can never find my glasses. I may or may not write about a dick that doesn’t belong to you." Love it!

Again, full of humanity.

Misting up at that description of your grandparents and him holding her head during the MRI scan to calm her panic.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Wendy! My glasses are usually on the top of my head yet I can’t seem to remember that. My grandparents bickered constantly but the love. ❤️

Can’t wait to read what you’ve got cooking this week!

Expand full comment
Oct 28Liked by Rebecca Goodall

I feel honored to be able to read something this good.

Expand full comment
author

phew! I wondered how it might be perceived by the male audience so thank you!

Expand full comment
Oct 28Liked by Rebecca Goodall

Well, I’m not a typical male, as I’m more like one of your characters. I absolutely love women, especially making love with them. But that aside, your ability to describe the interplay of emotions involved in a crumbling relationship is absolutely extraordinary. Thank you.

Expand full comment
author

Perfect because it was all about the interplay and humanity of the emotions but I worried it would get lost somehow. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Hi Rebecca! I was just starting to lose my faith in substack - just a little bit - after all, I know we can’t all write (yet!) like @abigail Thomas, but then I found this, and you have revived my faith! Thank you thank you thank you! This is tremendous.

Expand full comment

You had me at "Vegan dicks are shaped like bananas." I laughed .Then I read on and you had me all the way to the the end. Thank you.

Expand full comment
author

Abigail you are legit my most favorite writer on this platform. I feel as if you’re ahh how do I put this. Semi crusty like my favorite humans. Ash hanging off the pall mall. Coffee double strong right before it’s burnt. A lab dog with one hell of a tail wag. you are life incarnate. thank you and please write till you die. i’ll be tagging along.

Expand full comment

No way to thank you for that. Thank you seems so lame. But thank youl

Expand full comment
author

Thank you luv. Wether you know it or not. You lead the way. Keep smoking and writing. And living despite all of the things.

Expand full comment

Well I am smoking, and I am writing, ad tonight Ihad a whskey the size of an airplane.'an airplane whiskey, that is. teeny bottle.

Expand full comment

and thsnk you again.

Expand full comment

I don’t know why I’m sitting here crying but here we are

Expand full comment
author

Sheesh sorry. I cried when I wrote it and then about an hour ago Roman’s new piece made me cry.

Expand full comment

I love this. I had to check back a acouple of time to make sure I got most of it. but i love this.

Expand full comment
author

@Dino Corvino thank youuuu!!! So much! Glad you enjoyed it!

Expand full comment

I thoroughly enjoyed this. My fellow Jack seemed not to understand that his banana shaped dick had an opportunity with you and should have laughed it off. For me, I would love to have a woman write about my Johnson. Would be a life goal unlocked. But alas. You don’t need that grim humorlessness in your life anyhow. I also learned what a Paper Plane was from this story and that seems like news you can use. But I adored this writing: cuttingly funny but with a deeper point about what we want and what we’re looking for. Very well done.

Expand full comment
Oct 30Liked by Rebecca Goodall

Somebody already wrote about mine.

Expand full comment
author

hahaha that is hilarious.

Expand full comment
Oct 30Liked by Rebecca Goodall

A note for people using the app: the app does not show the picture I used with my comment, so Rebecca is not being as pitilessly cruel as it sounds.

Expand full comment
author

Ooooh that’s what happened I posted and deleted it a couple of times because the pix wasn’t showing. Then gave up on it. Thank you so much for making me laugh!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Jack! Paper Planes are sooo damn good. You gotta try one! Yeah the human need to be loved for who we are is a vulnerable thing to write about. The only way I can manage to is with jokes.

Expand full comment
Oct 29Liked by Rebecca Goodall

You are so gloriously human. Stunning work, Rebecca. And my god the ending…

Expand full comment
author

Queen I'm learning from the best. I study your dialogue. Fuck. It's so damn good.

Expand full comment
Oct 29Liked by Rebecca Goodall

That’s rich ‘cause I’m learning from you. Your work just floors me. So fucking raw and relatable. I think I’ll be humming “to all the dicks I’ve loved before” to the tune of “to all the girls” in the shower. And I think Willie’d approve.

Expand full comment
author

he did he did. girl you are such a damn talent I can't wait to see where you go with it! I'm proud to be here at the start of all the good things for youl

Expand full comment

Amazing. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Sean! I appreciate you!

Expand full comment

Great stuff.

Back in the states I've been training medical staff on how to market and sell seminars on the O shot.

Google that.

It's all the rage in Florida

Expand full comment
author

hahaha oh shit! I would buy that if I wasn’t a broke writer. You know what? I think you @Wendy Varley and I should (seriously) consider doing a monthly podcast. All GenXers (right?) and we’ve all been through some funny life stuff.

If the O shot were a drink—what the hell. I’m going to make up an O shot—shot. Stay tuned.

Expand full comment

As perk my wife gets about 3000$ worth of Esthetic treatements a month, for free . The nurses need someone to train on. So she gets all the things. Vampire facials, Hairline needling, stem cell injections… PRP …

All the experiments.

We do all the natural stuff too, I grow almost all our food and live super clean.

We teach this to the clients - but many think they can just inject the years away.

You can’t Botox and PRP you way out of 20 years of Ciggies and Diet cokes..

Expand full comment

Leave my diet cokes alone

Expand full comment

I’m not judging. I’m just giving unsolicited health advice.

Expand full comment